How to Successfully make Women feel Sorry for You

In this day and age, navigating the world of dating may seem daunting and confusing to the newly single man. Many men have questions about what the mores and social norms of texting, online dating and social media are in this relatively new digital age. 

There are however some time-tested and proven ways to make the most out of any new dating situation. Gaining sympathy can often lead to an emotional moment, which often leads to sex. Sex often puts your foot in the door to the beginning of a new long-term relationship. 

One sure-fire way to gain sympathy with a potential partner is to feign the loss of a beloved pet. Search garage sales, thrift shops. and discount stores for an inexpensive feeding dish to put in a conspicuous place in your home or apartment. When your date notices the dish, and asks if you have a dog or a cat, that will be your time to confide to her your pre-rehearsed story of how your pet died. 

If you happen to be low on money, you can even embellish your story with fictional accounts of vet bills that contributed to your financial hardship. The key is to show no regard for how much money you spent, only regret that it wasn't enough to save your precious animal.

If you desire to make your situation seem more heart-breaking, have a friend bring a dog or cat over to shed fur on your carpet and furniture. You can use the pet hair as a last reminder of your pet, and a convenient way to avoid vacuuming for months.

Producing tears can backfire, but more than often contributes to speeding up the formation of an emotional bond between you and your date. Chop up an onion and leave it in a Ziplock bag in your refrigerator. Suddenly offer your date a beverage, and expose your eyes to the vapors of the freshly cut onion when out of view. This works best if you don't wear contacts.

Also, creating an artificial grave (if you have the space) not only serves as an outdoor reminder of your emotional turmoil, but can be a fun weekend project.

All in all, let your imagination and creativity guide you in the pursuit of feigning the loss of a pet. Remember, adopting a new pet as a couple can be the glue that holds a new relationship together for the first few years. I highly recommend this from personal experience.---

Matthew T. Mruzek  M. D.