Cooking Tips for Single, Lonely Guys-- by Matthew T Mruzek

Go to Wal-Mart, check to see if the ribs are on sale. If they are, buy them and a bottle of Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce. Take the ribs, put them in a crock pot with half a bottle of the BBQ sauce. Let them cook on low for 8 hours.

Eat the ribs. Leave the Juice from the ribs in the crock pot bowl on top of the counter at room temperature for about two days. After two days, you should have a jelly-like substance. Remove the jelly-like substance from the crock pot and put it into a plastic Wal-Mart bag. Take that bag and place it inside of another bag. Place the two bags of rib jelly inside a third bag. Tie them all off, tight together to form a pocket that resembles a breast. Use this breast-like device as an arousal tool. When you are done with it for this use, eat the rib jelly from the bags. You should have no trouble fallling asleep.


--- Matthew T. Mruzek

M.D

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