The Best, Worst and Weirdest Movies on Amazon Prime (Spring 2018)
Hey people, it sure has been a while! My Dj Career only lasted for my sister's wedding. It sure was fun being unemployed for almost a year! I got my job back though, and now I am tired all the time again. Oh well, I still have the memories of all the movies I watched on Amazon Prime during that time. I decided to revisit them in this rating system I came up with.
Purge: Makes me want to vomit. I may watch these in front of my girlfriend to get revenge on her for watching Sex in the City.
Binge: An unconventionally good movie. A movie that is so bad it's good, may remove me from my current mind structure of thinking for a while, and may make me want to binge watch, possibly while binge eating candy and Swiss cake Rolls I bought from the Dollar Tree.
A + Classic: A movie that is a complete essential classic! If you haven't seen it before, you should watch it on a Friday night with someone! These may be movies that were on HBO when I was a kid (when we had it) and I still have fond memories of!
Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone for reading my blog, and for liking my band 002. Find us on facebook. If you haven't liked my band yet, you are dead to me. But there is still a chance to rekindle our online friendship if you act quickly and like my band!
LOL (2012)-- This movie stars Miley Cyrus and Demi Moore, and also has Ashley Greene (Twilight) playing a bit part. It is one of those cheesy coming of age movies that opens with some girl named Lola, (LoL is her nickname) giving a monologue (she's supposed to be writing in her diary!). This movie was partially filmed in Grosse Pointe Michigan, and revolves around a group of really good looking teenagers that sleep with eachother a lot. The main guy (love interest) is in a cutesy indie rock type of band. In case you haven't figured it out yet, this movie is terrible! I watch it to make fun of it, but I had to turn it off 3/4 of the way through because I couldn't stand Miley Cyrus's face. It is so bizarre, because every other character in the movie is about 5 times as good looking as her. You get the feeling that Miley is probably a spoiled brat in real life and only got her career to where it is because of her achey breaky dad. I give this movie a big heapy Purge!!!!
Lady Bugs (1992)- This movie has Rodney Dangerfield dressing his girlfriend's son up as a girl and having him play on his company sponsored little league soccer team to save his job! This movie, I cannot recommend enough. It is definitely sexist by today's standards because it implies that a boy would have the ability to save a girls soccer team, but that subtley also reminds me of a seemingly simpler time. I remember renting this movie in the early 90's with my family. Jackee Harry (Sister Sister) also adds to the fun playing his cliche'd sassy African American assistant coach! Jonathan Brandis (the original IT) plays the kid being dressed up as a girl. This movie is an A++ Classic. Hurry up and watch it before the cheap asses at Amazon take it down because they don't want to renew the license to have it available!
Seytan: The Exorcism Incident (1974)-- Did you know that in Turkey, they used to remake movies for their Arabic speaking audience? They were unauthorized, direct copies of American blockbusters. Of course, they didn't have the same budget, but they would completely skirt copyright laws and even use the same music from the American versions (real versions) of the film. Seytan is one of those movies. It is a direct copy of the Exorcist in Arabic with English subtitles. The fact that this movie exists and is available on Amazon Prime really made me scratch my head in regard to the legality of the film. Is it lawful for Amazon to provide a work that is blatantly infringing upon another? That is a question I need to ask a lawyer for. I enjoyed this movie! The exorcism scene is really creepy. This movie is definetly a Binge watch/read. (you have to read the subtitles, or just have it on for atmosphere).
Demon Wind (1990) I am going to somewhat continue with the theme of demonic possesion for the next two movies. Demon Wind is one such movie that provides an element of that theme, Evil Dead style. I wrote a blog in praise of Demon Wind last year, the folks at Amazon must have read it, because now the movie is available on Amazon! This movie involves cheesy 20-somethings who get holed up in a farm house and have to defend themselves from demons who resemble the satan worshipers that sacfriced children in the 1920's on the property. Anyone who gets bit becomes a demon type of scenario. This movie has a ridiculously funny old man who warns them about the farm, cool music, and a genuinely creepy atmosphere. I have seen this movie at least 10 times. I give this movie a full Binge rating!
Evil Dead Inbred Rednecks (2012) I know most of you are going to turn this movie off as soon as you see the quality of the video that was used to film it, but if you can get past that, and you like ridiculously gross humor like me, you will find yourself extremely entertained by this offering from writer-director-star Chris Seaver. This movie was filmed by the generation of kids that grew up on internet porn. The actors are funnier than the current cast of SNL by far. They remind me of the over-the-top, attention seeking theater kids I knew in highschool. Chris Seaver is responsible for a whole collection of movies available on Prime right now. I really laughed a lot watching this movie in front of my girlfriend, she thought it was terrible and gross. I am going to give it a binge, then purge rating to accomodate both view points!
Criminally Insane (Crazy Fat Ethel) (1975)- This movie is about a woman obsessed with food, who was recently released by a mental institution. I rented this movie from Blockbuster with my older sister when we were kids. This woman, (fat Ethel) ends up killling anyone who gets in the way of her eating. It is a low budget horror movie from the 70's that is very well done if you like those kind of movies. I felt like I really hit the jackpot when I found out it was available on Prime! I really love this movie. Even if you don't like horror movies, you will probably find this movie interesting. Watch it before it gets removed! I give this movie a hearty BINGE rating!
Mothers Day (2017) Have you had enough of binge yet? Well you are in luck if you feel like regurgitating some of that candy you ate during the binge movies you just watched! This movie has two stars well past their prime in it--Jennifer Aniston and Julia Roberts. I watched this movie as a joke... and man was it bad! It was another one of those movies that starts with some lady giving a monologue. It is a romantic comedy, which has Jennifer Aniston playing a woman who was recently divorced trying to figure out if she is going to get back with her ex, or find love elsewhere with the added drama of being a mommy to her stupid spoiled kids. This movie also has a song by whiner leprechaun Ed Sheeran in it, which is a coincidence because Aniston was in the original Leprechaun movie with Warwick Davis. This movie was heavily featured on the Amazon Prime home page. I saw a preview of it, and I couldn't find anything else to watch, so I watched it knowing I was getting a turd. This movie is a Purge from both ends of the digestive system!!!
Well folks, thats all I have for today! Enjoy your Spring, I may not be back for a while. Don't forget to come to my next gig.... we need to book more! You will want to see Pete and I before we hit it big. Make sure you bring your cellphone, you can use it to film us! If anyone tells ya not to bring a phone to a gig, tell them to come to my house and kiss my ass!
--- Matt
Purge: Makes me want to vomit. I may watch these in front of my girlfriend to get revenge on her for watching Sex in the City.
Binge: An unconventionally good movie. A movie that is so bad it's good, may remove me from my current mind structure of thinking for a while, and may make me want to binge watch, possibly while binge eating candy and Swiss cake Rolls I bought from the Dollar Tree.
A + Classic: A movie that is a complete essential classic! If you haven't seen it before, you should watch it on a Friday night with someone! These may be movies that were on HBO when I was a kid (when we had it) and I still have fond memories of!
Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone for reading my blog, and for liking my band 002. Find us on facebook. If you haven't liked my band yet, you are dead to me. But there is still a chance to rekindle our online friendship if you act quickly and like my band!
LOL (2012)-- This movie stars Miley Cyrus and Demi Moore, and also has Ashley Greene (Twilight) playing a bit part. It is one of those cheesy coming of age movies that opens with some girl named Lola, (LoL is her nickname) giving a monologue (she's supposed to be writing in her diary!). This movie was partially filmed in Grosse Pointe Michigan, and revolves around a group of really good looking teenagers that sleep with eachother a lot. The main guy (love interest) is in a cutesy indie rock type of band. In case you haven't figured it out yet, this movie is terrible! I watch it to make fun of it, but I had to turn it off 3/4 of the way through because I couldn't stand Miley Cyrus's face. It is so bizarre, because every other character in the movie is about 5 times as good looking as her. You get the feeling that Miley is probably a spoiled brat in real life and only got her career to where it is because of her achey breaky dad. I give this movie a big heapy Purge!!!!
Lady Bugs (1992)- This movie has Rodney Dangerfield dressing his girlfriend's son up as a girl and having him play on his company sponsored little league soccer team to save his job! This movie, I cannot recommend enough. It is definitely sexist by today's standards because it implies that a boy would have the ability to save a girls soccer team, but that subtley also reminds me of a seemingly simpler time. I remember renting this movie in the early 90's with my family. Jackee Harry (Sister Sister) also adds to the fun playing his cliche'd sassy African American assistant coach! Jonathan Brandis (the original IT) plays the kid being dressed up as a girl. This movie is an A++ Classic. Hurry up and watch it before the cheap asses at Amazon take it down because they don't want to renew the license to have it available!
Criminally Insane (Crazy Fat Ethel) (1975)- This movie is about a woman obsessed with food, who was recently released by a mental institution. I rented this movie from Blockbuster with my older sister when we were kids. This woman, (fat Ethel) ends up killling anyone who gets in the way of her eating. It is a low budget horror movie from the 70's that is very well done if you like those kind of movies. I felt like I really hit the jackpot when I found out it was available on Prime! I really love this movie. Even if you don't like horror movies, you will probably find this movie interesting. Watch it before it gets removed! I give this movie a hearty BINGE rating!
Mothers Day (2017) Have you had enough of binge yet? Well you are in luck if you feel like regurgitating some of that candy you ate during the binge movies you just watched! This movie has two stars well past their prime in it--Jennifer Aniston and Julia Roberts. I watched this movie as a joke... and man was it bad! It was another one of those movies that starts with some lady giving a monologue. It is a romantic comedy, which has Jennifer Aniston playing a woman who was recently divorced trying to figure out if she is going to get back with her ex, or find love elsewhere with the added drama of being a mommy to her stupid spoiled kids. This movie also has a song by whiner leprechaun Ed Sheeran in it, which is a coincidence because Aniston was in the original Leprechaun movie with Warwick Davis. This movie was heavily featured on the Amazon Prime home page. I saw a preview of it, and I couldn't find anything else to watch, so I watched it knowing I was getting a turd. This movie is a Purge from both ends of the digestive system!!!Well folks, thats all I have for today! Enjoy your Spring, I may not be back for a while. Don't forget to come to my next gig.... we need to book more! You will want to see Pete and I before we hit it big. Make sure you bring your cellphone, you can use it to film us! If anyone tells ya not to bring a phone to a gig, tell them to come to my house and kiss my ass!
--- Matt
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